Lebron - Living in Perpetual Fear

[Ian Noble]

Lebron James was seen leaving practice yesterday in a fit of tears after yet another attempt by GM, Blake Bowman, to trade him.

"I just want..." James managed to squeak out from behind his clasped hands "... to be loved!!". And with that the 6'8" offensive monster burst into floods of tears whilst rushing off in the direction of Daniel Gibson, who gave Lebron a big hug.

Yesterday's attempt to trade Lebron to Houston for an aging, injury prone Yao Ming, a geologically aged Shane Battier and talented but flawed JR Smith led to a larger pile of tissues next to the Akron native's locker as he left the building.

It was the sixth time Lebron faced the possibility of leaving his home state in a month.

Concerns over the mental state of the Ohio-born superstar have caused fans to take shifts, keeping watch over Lebron next to his bedside all through the night in an attempt to reassure him during his fits of dazed paranoia and listlessness which are causing him to miss practice and eat, among other things, styrofoam cups.

The cause of Blake Bowman's insatiable desire to trade Lebron is unknown, but internationally recognised war criminal, Henry Kissinger, was seen leaving the Cavs arena on Saturday, stopping only to steal candy from a baby.

[Sam Presti]

That's some funny shit there. All the attempts at trading LeBron has probably killed any chance of him picking up his player option this year

[Phil Jackson]

hahaha, article of the year

[Alvin Hendrix]

NAISSE!
He's screwing his own chances there. Bowman, you are going to lose the "King" fo sho. I don't know why the Owner(s) hasn't fired Bowman yet.

[David Robinson]

Well done Ian. This is some funny ****!